Estonian Couple Shares Raw IVF Journey to Break the Infertility Silence

An Estonian couple, Kristi Noem and Lennart Ruuda, is speaking openly about their fertility struggles to break the silence around IVF. Kristi Noem and Lennart Ruuda have undergone three rounds of treatment since failing to conceive naturally for two years. Their story highlights both the emotional strain and the physical demands of assisted reproduction.

Kristi Noem, a makeup artist and stylist, first noticed the lack of men's voices in discussions about infertility. Most accounts focus on women's experiences, so she wanted to hear Lennart's perspective. He later wrote an article for Levila, detailing the emotional and physical toll of trying to conceive.

The couple turned to IVF after two years without success. Each cycle brought intense side effects for Kristi Noem—swelling, headaches, nausea, and sharp abdominal pain. Recovery also meant restrictions on daily activities, adding frustration to the process.

Lennart described watching her endure treatment as painful, especially since men's roles in IVF are often limited to support. Humour became their coping mechanism, even during the hardest moments. They treated each cycle like an experiment, adjusting approaches to improve their chances.

In Estonia, around 5,000–6,000 couples have undergone IVF since 2020, based on annual estimates from clinics like Fertilitas and Nova Clinica. Success rates hover between 40–50% per cycle for women under 35, but factors like age, lifestyle, and clinic expertise play a role.

Despite the stress, their relationship has grown stronger. Honesty and openness kept them connected, even when results were disappointing. Both agree that while IVF is gruelling, it remains a viable option for those hoping to start a family.

The couple's story sheds light on the realities of IVF, from physical strain to emotional resilience. By sharing their journey, they aim to encourage more open conversations about infertility. Their experience also reflects broader trends in Estonia, where thousands face similar challenges each year.